Over the few years of living breathing and experiencing random magnificent moments on my journey, there's been this wondrous 'thing' within. This...Greatness. Some who have met me thus far in my increasingly mature age have made warm mentioned of this...Greatness. Seemingly it's been undeniable and indefinable as to what people see or perhaps what they think see. Or what they want to see in me. I’ve just read a paragraph in this book, Creating Money; Attracting Abundance* chapter 15 ‘Believing In Yourself'. The thoughts within this book reiterated what I'm living through. At the time I wasn't sure about how to answer questions from a dear fellow Living Artist. I have much to learn experience and inevitably share with you, the ‘viewers’ some of my mindful & hearty thoughts.
If I may share the intimate letter written
As you now know, I do not verbally communicate well (perhaps to you/with you I don't...I need to figure out 'why?' for myself in regards to you in particular.) I 'get it' regarding some of the things you said on behalf of what you think regarding 'Greatness within'. Sharing the 'Greatness'. You know you said, "It's lonely sometimes" and "It's hard seeing a Prince not being a Prince" eh I guess the statement applies, "It's lonely at the top" Yes you perhaps are at 'the top' of your beginnings aka "baby magic" hence why you're seeking inspiration and muses through others as well as yourself I suppose. The ebb and flow of the Muse being Amused. People have to be/discover 'who and how' they are own pace and space darling (if they do at all) Something you're learning for yourself too as you stated.
Yes, I need these momentous/purposeful Q&A's and you're the 'Living Artist' to raise such questions. You know what's 'hard' for me...not begin able to explain 'me' to people like you because I have that 'IT' thing and they 'see it' and they hope for it to be larger than life itself and they're looking for more definitive answers from a person who can barely define herself. I'm just enjoying my life doing whatever it is I want to do as my 'have to' isn't so much a part of me these days. Everything I do and who/how am, I wanted at this present place and time. My own Maiden Voyage...everything in its right place. People are looking for the passion to either match or even surpass theirs. Although connected in general realms of people being and doing people kind of shit, your passion is your own. As thus my passion is my own. Another thing I'm discovering for myself is being good at whatever I put my hands and heart on/into because folks have a tendency to 'think' I should/could be doing this that and the other once they 'see it'. Yes, you may 'see me' but I have a 'feeling' you do not accept my pace and space & perhaps it's because you do not 'know me'. I am Tamura; the woman child who playfully comes in but who is a hint melancholy, highly cautious yet underdeveloped in matters of the heart. I am also Aura; the lively get it in, head cheerleader in whatever she does. Unbridled, rough yet soft and 'she' is 'Great' in her own right. You're interested in being shown and knowing Tamura... hun I'm becoming re-acquainted with her (and developing Aura for that matter) and quite frankly that's a part of me that is somewhat reserved and I am also comfortable with Me (Tamura) as 'she' is part of that 'IT' or that Greatness some folks 'see' and cannot categorize for themselves. I am comfortable as they are both sides of me that are strong and vulnerable. All I care and give a fuck about is catering to all of me be it Tamura and/or Aura to my triumph for peril. I'm not concerned with who 'sees me' in that regard because when I say, "It's not for everyone" I mean people gravitate to whatever they want to 'see' or 'feel' anyway hence the many avenues I chose to express and feed me mentally and perhaps spiritually. Most people spend time working on them and more so showing themselves off so much that their original feeling/reasons of "why I do it" morphs into something else that they may not even recognize. WE all do it for whatever reasons big or small. My stage is 'small' because whatever I do I do for me first and foremost. At this present time, I don't care about 'changing the world'. I care about growing for ME and if someone relates, fine. Will that viewpoint change...can it change...maybe as change is growth in either direction (better or worse).
I have no idea what you'll feel or think/feel regarding this and although I like you, and have I do have a care about what you may think about me, Do I give a grand fuck overall... not so much because this is who & how I am. You say you want to know... I'm 'out there'. Perhaps it may be in the 'how' one gets to know me. For me personally, It's not about 'making' you or anyone 'see' at this present time. I'm into just getting most things out of my head and heart first and whatever experience I want to propel along the way...mozel tov...
I do hope I answered some of your questions. If not, eh don't know what else to 'tell' you other than read these [blogs and it will] garner you more insight as I am not that great of a conversationalist in this regard with you. Yes, I dislike being misunderstood but what I learned from/through you is that I can't really care about that part too much because it can be frustrating and that's not why I do my brand of 'it'. Regarding accepting the personal perpetual misunderstandings...eh I gotta eat that feeling whenever it arises. So thank you for that lesson too.
Writing that letter helped me figure out some new and familiar discoveries regarding my Greatness and how I choose to share it with you.
"Your life’s work may be quite different from what others picture you doing. It is important to honor your own direction. To succeed at anything, you must love it and only you can know what you love. If you go against your inner messages, trying to succeed at a career you don’t love just to please others, you will lose your sense of joy and aliveness. Decide that you will do whatever you are receiving the impulse to do with your life, even if you don’t see how there can be any money in it. If it feels right, honors your integrity, and brings you joy. Do it. Success comes when you follow your heart." – Creating Money; Attracting Abundance*
My attraction to my abundance is simply…. Love, Growth, Living… everything else is what it is and what it shall be spiritually, physically, mentally, financially etc.
*Creating Money, Attracting Abundance by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer published in a joint venture with New World Library 1988
Aura's Audacity Of... Viewpoint of Directed To series
http://audacityof3.blogspot.com - Tricky Toys of The Sticky Kind
http://audacityof6.blogspot.com - Apologies and that damn 'N' word yet again
http://audacityof10.blogspot.com - Are You Ready to Be Open With Your Nakedness?
http://audacityof11.blogspot.com - Onward March! Life After Corporate
Delightful Disclaimer – ‘Viewpoint of Directed To’ may or may not always be direct adventures of Aura Dynamo. Names, dates and anything else that might prove otherwise have been omitted to protect some of the innocent &/or the idiots.
"Go do something Audacious with yourself and enjoy the memories!" - Aura Dynamo
Audacity Of… © 2010
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